Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Final Lessons

Well, we've reached the end of the semester folks. My first semester of college. 
I would most defiantly call this a semester of hardships. It's my time alone in a state without any family around. It's my first time living with total strangers and sharing my own personal space. It's pretty intimidating. I am looking forward though to another new semester. A new start almost.

The final lessons in this class:

12.) Divorce & Remarriage
13.) The Aging Family

Lesson twelve covered divorce and remarriage.
Most everyone knows how much divorce can affect the dynamic of a family. Divorce rips families apart. Financially you lose out more when you divorce. The bills are no longer shared and there is now child support to pay, if there are children in the equation. The percentage of divorces has skyrocketed since even the 1950’s. Divorces occur due to many different factors. Some examples are physical abuse, verbal abuse, finances, lack of communication, and other sources. Remarriage has also climbed over the years. Men are more likely to divorce then women. They are also likely to remarry sooner after their last marriage. 

The aging family was really fascinating to me. It says that when we first get married we have the honeymoon phase, where we are really affectionate with our spouse. Once we have children and raise them up it slowly decreases the intimacy in the marriage. This happens because the primary focus changes from only the spouse to the priority of the children. Once the children are grown and out of the house though the relationship kicks back up. "Life is a roller-coaster" as they say.

I really enjoyed this class. It was my favorite of the semester, and I'm not just saying that to butter up the teacher. I learned SO much that will GREATLY benefit my future home and family. These are very valuable lessons that everyone should learn about an take to heart. 

Thanks you so much to brother Williams!


xoxo-Hayley 

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Lessons 10 & 11

Hey readers and fellow bloggers!

We're down to the home stretch now. Can you believe the first semester of school is almost over?!
Time sure fly's when you're having fun:)

 In lessons 10 and 11 we covered:
  • Fathers and Finances
  • Parenting

 In lesson 10 we covered the importance and significance of fathers. Believe it or not a fathers role is very critical. The lack of, or complete absence of,a fatherly figure can actually affect a child's behavior. Coming from a household of divorced parents my father was lacking in the day to day life of myself and my eldest brother. He would visit on holidays and have us for part of the summer vacation but it wasn't nearly enough. I read an article last week that said that a child is more likely to lash out and rebel without a fatherly role in the household. They are also more likely to have drug and alcohol abuse and have premarital sex. It's amazing how much the lack of a father can impact the whole family dynamic.
     Finances were also stitched to fathers mainly because fathers are the usual breadwinners in the household. No matter the case though of who is "bringing home the bacon" family budgeting is really important. It creates less conflict on how much is spent in certain places. If there is a budget then the money is cut off once the budget is reached. It saves money in the long run which could be used for fun activities or vacations with the whole family later on.

Ahh parenting. There isn't a manual for it. No special coach or teacher available. No quick-fix product that can be sold. Like most things in life this is one of those "practice makes perfect" and "learning by doing" things. I'm not a parent yet but I've seen many a different type of parenting tactic in my life. Active parents are the ones who usually become the most respected by the children. Those parents who really try to be a part of their child's life. Birth order is interesting in parenting as well. The eldest is usually called upon to assist the parent in most cases. The youngest usually gets the most attention from the parents. The middle child or children just tend to be there and have a neutral playing zone. I would know, I am one. I wasn't really ignored but I also wasn't really given as much attention as my younger brother. I didn't mind that much though. I've always enjoyed my space.

Thanks for reading!

xoxo-Hayley

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Lessons 8 & 9

Hello everyone,

Here we go again:

Lessons 8 & 9:

  • Lesson 8: The Family Under Stress
  • Lesson 9: Communication & Mutual Respect

In lesson eight we discussed different stresses that a family can encounter. Some examples of this are a death of a close family member or of an immediate family member, a move, divorce, or an illness in the family. Each of these things can affect the family unit in various ways. It can either bring the family closer together through the trial or pull them apart. The most healthy way to deal with stress within the family is to deal with it together. Everybody takes things and handles stress differently. A difficult matter should be handled as a growing experience to help one another in the family and a learning opportunity to comfort.

In lesson nine we go more over proper communication tactics in families. We discussed how important tone and nonverbal communication really is. You know when you were a kid and your mother would give you that dread 'look' of disapproval if you didn't do something that she asked you to do? Well that is a perfect example of nonverbal communication. Body language is also important to express how we are feeling. It is best to learn while you are young what all of these forms of communication are. Always have respect in the things you do and the things you say.

xoxo-Hayley





Saturday, November 9, 2013

Lessons 6 & 7

Hey everyone!

Here's what I learned...

Lesson 6:Transitions in Marriage
Lesson 7: Sexual Intimacy & Family Life

     Marriage is a huge commitment, let's face it. Transitioning from just taking care of yourself to working as a team and being a partner in mostly everything you do can be quite a challenge. I believe that the rewards greatly outweigh the challenges though. A healthy and happy marriage can bring a lifetime of joy and love.Transitioning to a parent is also a major change in marriage. The needs of the spouse then turn to the needs of the child or children. This can affect the marriage too. The husband, or even sometimes wife, can feel neglected if too much attention is given to the new child. This can loosen the bonds between husband and wife and cause a lack in intimacy, both verbal and physical.
     In lesson 7 we learned that being intimate doesn't just mean being physical, it's more of an emotional expression. Being verbally intimate is very important in a marriage. Telling your spouse how much you care for them, how they help you out, how much you love them, etc, is very beneficial for a strong and healthy marriage. As far as the physical aspects go it is important to express your love through physical connections with your spouse. It is important to save this act for marriage because 1.) it makes it more special and 2.) your virginity should be taken seriously. It shouldn't be passed around for everyone to use. You only have one "first time" so make it count. It's also sacred, for all of those Christians out there like me.

Thanks for reading!

xoxo-Hayley

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Lessons 4 & 5

These past two weeks we discussed:

  • Gender in Family Life
  • Preparing for Marriage
During the first week we talked about the importance that gender plays in families. Gender is important because family roles are important. The father, the main male in the household, is supposed to be the provider and the wife, the woman, is supposed to be the nurturer. Now this isn't always the case in most families we see now-a-days, but this is the considered the norm.

We also discussed how moving ones family around too much can alter the family unit. This one hit home for me because I moved around a lot when I was younger and I feel that it strongly impacted my family dynamic. The roles in my family began to change.

Lesson 5 was weird for me because it was about marriage preparation. Now I'm only 19 so I won't be getting married for a while, I hope, but I loved learning about this topic. We talked about what normally destroys relationships early on. Studies say that cohabitation early on in a relationship will cause a  break-up a lot of the time. We talked about also that one needs to be open to dating lots of different types of people. We should do this because how will we ever know what we truly want and like in a future spouse if we limit ourselves to just dating one person. It's like only ever tasting vanilla ice cream and never even knowing what chocolate tastes like.

These past two weeks were filled with amazing lessons. Thank you to my wonderful teacher!

xoxo-Hayley




Saturday, October 12, 2013

The First Three Weeks...

I'm in college now guys! Officially a freshman. I am majoring in Family and Consumer Education and can't wait to teach students in either high school or middle school basic life skills. Too many people now-a-days have no idea how to even sew or cook for themselves. You think I'm kidding? I'm not. With practice makes perfect. Anyone can learn how to do anything they put their minds to.

Any who, I am taking a Family Relations class as part of my major. It's a class that discusses the importance of family and the differences of it in different cultures. For this class I was asked to make a blog. Conveniently I already had one. So, from time to time I will be posting what I learn in this class.

In the first three weeks we discussed:

  1. Societal Trends & the Family
  2. Understanding Family Dynamics 
  3. Social Class & Cultural Diversity
In the first week we discussed societal trends and the family. The average idea of a family is a mother, father and children. The first lesson was how the family unit is changing. I'm sure most of you have seen the popular TV show Modern Family. This is basically what we talked about the first week, the 'modern family' I learned that the birth rate has dropped significantly over the years and that studies show that cohabitation before marriage actually has a reverse effect on the relationship and actually has a higher effect of a break up/divorce.
The second week was understanding family dynamics. Families are always really dynamic. There may be members who act alike but each member has a different role. This week was about how sometimes the role in families changes. Sometimes a parent is out of the equation and a child might have to take on the role of that missing parent. This tends to be happening more and more.
Lesson three was the most interesting to me personally. I love how diverse our world is, especially our country, America. Getting to see and experience different cultures just outside our door is fantastic. America is just a big melting pot of growth and human diversity.  I think the more diversity the better. Social class is another topic. I feel that different classes will always be with us, along with the distinct line dividing them. It's sad to think that we have such ego's.

I have learned much in this class that will become useful to me in the future I am sure.

Thank for reading!

xoxo-Hayley 





Saturday, September 1, 2012

Outfit of the Day-September 1, 2012



So today was a pretty typical day. School starts back up soon, my last year of high school, so I've been mentally preparing myself for those early mornings again. Today was an overcast day which actually made for pretty good shots. Less glare and squinting.
These shots were taken by an old restaurant and a dam right next to a century old paper mill.



Green Blouse: Old Navy
Light Blue Stone Necklace: Borrowed from a friend
Patterned Skirt: Forever 21
Teal Flats: DSW